Spring Cleaning – Clearing the Way for a Fresh Perspective

Martha Carlson, Co-Principal and Executive Coach, hosted a highly successful networking breakfast for over 70 professional women at the Metropolitan Ballroom on April 2nd. Martha’s key note was titled “Spring Cleaning – Clearing the Way for a Fresh Perspective”.

Here are highlights of her address:

When I think of spring cleaning, I remember that sensation of opening the windows wide and letting the air in after a long, cold winter. The smells of Pine-Sol and vinegar are in the air. Sweeping away the dust and cobwebs and throwing away the old to make room for the new. With everything in its place, we start fresh once again. All of the efforts of spring cleaning create a sense of comfort – of being at home again.

In her book Home Comforts, Cheryl Mendelson talks about the importance of creating a sense of being at home by engaging in domestic habits and rituals – like spring cleaning. “Without this sense of being at home, our happiness, resilience, energy, humor, and courage will decrease. Being at home feels safe – you have a sense of belongingness. Coming home is your major restorative in life.”

We experience this same sense when we are able to clean house – and come home – in other areas of our lives. How many of you have had the experience of not feeling quite right in your skin – as though you’ve lost your sense of focus and purpose? Maybe you have felt the need to clear the decks and begin anew?

We often arrive here because we fall prey to the myth of multi-tasking. The belief that we can do it all, have it all, and be it all – all at the same time. In reality we can only do justice to one thing at a time. Similarly, our capacity is not infinite. Our buckets are often full to overflowing – too many commitments, too many unfinished tasks, too many drains on our time and our emotions. It becomes impossible to derive satisfaction from what we are experiencing, let alone add anything new to the mix. At times, things may be in such disarray that we can’t adequately attend to anything in front of us.

In her book Simple Abundance, Sara Ban Breathnach talks about cultivating contentment through achieving a sense of order. “Whenever I am feeling overwhelmed by my circumstances – concerns about money, family, business – I instinctively turn to homegrown rituals to restore my sense of equilibrium. There is an immediate emotional and psychological payoff to getting our houses in order.”

In my business, I attend to a variety of tasks on a day-to-day basis – from coaching clients to marketing, strategizing to execution, returning phone calls, billing clients, and managing cash flow. From time to time I get overwhelmed! I find it helpful to take a step back and clear the decks – clean everything off my desk, and make a list of all the things on my plate. I take a hard look to determine if there are things I can delegate to someone else, delay or defer, or stop doing altogether. This helps bring me back to center so I can focus on the real priorities AND create capacity for new priorities.

Much of this is pretty intuitive and obvious. Clean house so you can start over. Stop doing some things so you can start doing others. What’s the big deal? The big deal is when we extend the metaphor to our self-concept – how we think of ourselves. To step back and take a look at what we believe to be true, how we often doggedly hold on to these truths, how we build habits and lose sight of our impact on others as a result of these beliefs. Then, examine our beliefs to identify what we must stop so we can create room for new ones.

Let me give you some examples of some “dusty” beliefs…

• I must act in ways that don’t alienate others/everyone must like me
• I am responsible for other’s happiness
• If I give up control or do something less than 120% right, I will fail
• If I don’t have all the answers, my employees will doubt my intelligence and credibility as a leader
• I am not a good sales person/leader/implementer/strategist/etc.
• I must be thin/beautiful/accomplished/successful/climb the ladder/fill in the blank… to be happy in life

When we throw open the windows and clear out these cobwebs, we make room for fresh beliefs and perspectives, such as:

• I choose to act in ways that are congruent with my values. I choose to like me no matter what others say. When you love yourself, others will follow your lead.
• I am responsible for my own happiness as others are responsible for theirs. As a parent, we equate so much of what we do for our children as integral to their happiness. I’ve come to the realization that I am only responsible for creating conditions that support happiness – having meals on the table, beds to sleep in, clean clothes to wear, and providing unconditional love. The same extends to leadership.
• When I relinquish the need for absolute control or perfection, I open up doors for creativity and productivity. Perfectionism creates inertia; grace moves us forward. Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good.
• I don’t need to have all the answers. Encouraging others to find the answers empowers and develops them. I boost my credibility by asking good questions.
• I can develop the skills I need to be successful in my job or surround myself with others who have these skills. If I can’t develop them or compensate for the lack, I can find a position that is more suited to my strengths.
• Happiness is a state of mind and is achieved by being in the moment – not looking back with questions and regrets or looking forward with anticipation or anxiety. I must not postpone happiness or make it conditional on something else that may not be sustainable.

When you recognize that you can clean house – get rid of the old beliefs that no longer serve you and adopt new beliefs that do – the rest falls into place.

To explore more topics like this, consider joining us for The Exchange: A forum for women leaders. This small group of professional women meets once a month for six months to enhance leadership effectiveness and share topics of interest with other women leaders. The next group begins in July. For more information, contact Martha Carlson at (763) 545-5997 x305 or mcarlson@thebaileygroup.com.

Check out a short video segment from the event at:  http://www.youtube.com/baileygrp